A "GEMINI" BRUTHA JOURNEYING & EXPERIENCING A PATH OF NETWORKING & COMMUNICATION FOR THE HUMANITARIAN WELL-BEING FOR AND ABOUT THE AFRICAN DIASPORA
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
No FATS. No FEMS. [Beauty BIGOTS] A Social Video Commentary By XemVanAdams
This is video is an astute "reading" of Black homosexual & bisexual men for commonly held superficial standards of beauty; and widespread internalized homophobia & gender expression discrimination that manifest as effemiphobia. And best of all, it was made by a young brother. Check it out.
I appreciate the effort to get brothers to broaden their attitudes toward Fat and Fem men. However I wonder if the juxtaposition of fat against beautiful or "physically attractive" continues to buy into the ideas that to be fat is to be physically unattractive. If attractive means that people are attracted to you (and it does in this context) then the idea is relative. There are many Black gay men who find fat men attractive, dare I say sexy, but the social and political SEX climate of Black gay community prohibits these brothers from openly expressing their desire for fat men in the community. Its not all about physical attraction its about what is allowable in our community. Many men who are attracted to big men are daunted by the reactions of their friends and community when they are publicly partnered with fat men. Thus us big boys get relegated to the closet along with our shamed partners.
Again thank you for making your post here. Although I have 1 or 2 concerns with your analysis I think that its encouraging to see some among us atleast beginning to think outside of the box! Bravo!
This “no-fats, no-fems” mess is nothing short of a collective collusion with a very westernized brand of narcissism. It’s medieval and oppressive and doesn’t require self-examination or critical thought. The price we pay for colluding with this hideous superficiality is stunted psycho-social development and imprisonment to under developed sexualities. By its very nature, this “no-fats, no-fems” credo, allows for an active presence of discrimination within our communities while at the same time the very offenders cry out for justice for themselves.
Not only is beauty “skin deep”, but as quite as its kept, it’s still in the eyes of the beholder. For those who spend inordinate hours in the gym or in front of their mirrors (often overcompensating for countless insecurities) trying to achieve some magical “perfection”, it might behoove them to attempt to bridge the gap between their groins and their heart.
It’s a real shame that so many have fallen victims to the western monolithic standard of “beauty.” Just take a cursory look at any so called “beauty pageant.” Or consider the alarming number of men and women who have been diagnosed as “bulimic”, “anorexic” or “bigorexic” (this one applies mainly to body builders). This speaks volumes to the pathology inherent in trying to conform to these standards of “beauty.”
As a community, it’s time to grow up. It’s time to reclaim our humanity. All of it. Discrimination based on inherent traits (i.e., color of ones skin/eyes, body type, height, etc.) is at the root of institutional discrimination. It’s downright despicable. As long as being “gay” or “SGL” is merely equated with sex and sexual prowess we are reduced to walking/talking orgasms.
I appreciate the effort to get brothers to broaden their attitudes toward Fat and Fem men. However I wonder if the juxtaposition of fat against beautiful or "physically attractive" continues to buy into the ideas that to be fat is to be physically unattractive. If attractive means that people are attracted to you (and it does in this context) then the idea is relative. There are many Black gay men who find fat men attractive, dare I say sexy, but the social and political SEX climate of Black gay community prohibits these brothers from openly expressing their desire for fat men in the community. Its not all about physical attraction its about what is allowable in our community. Many men who are attracted to big men are daunted by the reactions of their friends and community when they are publicly partnered with fat men. Thus us big boys get relegated to the closet along with our shamed partners.
ReplyDeleteAgain thank you for making your post here. Although I have 1 or 2 concerns with your analysis I think that its encouraging to see some among us atleast beginning to think outside of the box! Bravo!
Signed:
Fat and Fem
This “no-fats, no-fems” mess is nothing short of a collective collusion with a very westernized brand of narcissism. It’s medieval and oppressive and doesn’t require self-examination or critical thought. The price we pay for colluding with this hideous superficiality is stunted psycho-social development and imprisonment to under developed sexualities. By its very nature, this “no-fats, no-fems” credo, allows for an active presence of discrimination within our communities while at the same time the very offenders cry out for justice for themselves.
ReplyDeleteNot only is beauty “skin deep”, but as quite as its kept, it’s still in the eyes of the beholder. For those who spend inordinate hours in the gym or in front of their mirrors (often overcompensating for countless insecurities) trying to achieve some magical “perfection”, it might behoove them to attempt to bridge the gap between their groins and their heart.
It’s a real shame that so many have fallen victims to the western monolithic standard of “beauty.” Just take a cursory look at any so called “beauty pageant.” Or consider the alarming number of men and women who have been diagnosed as “bulimic”, “anorexic” or “bigorexic” (this one applies mainly to body builders). This speaks volumes to the pathology inherent in trying to conform to these standards of “beauty.”
As a community, it’s time to grow up. It’s time to reclaim our humanity. All of it. Discrimination based on inherent traits (i.e., color of ones skin/eyes, body type, height, etc.) is at the root of institutional discrimination. It’s downright despicable. As long as being “gay” or “SGL” is merely equated with sex and sexual prowess we are reduced to walking/talking orgasms.